How to Build Confidence?

So in-depth to the point you cannot mess it up.

Probably the number one question I’ve received since starting social media so I’m going to break down in-depth 6 practical steps you can take to build confidence RIGHT NOW.

I need to first start with a general spiel so that we can all be on the same page before continuing.

Initial Spiel

Do you believe you deserve confidence? Really? Are you doing everything necessary in order to attain it or are you just sitting on your hands waiting for confidence to magically appear?

As Alex Hormozi says, “confidence is about outworking your self doubt.” It’s about having an undeniable stack of proof that you are who you say that you are. 

I think the analogy of athletes is very fitting here. Do you think that athletes just magically become confident on match day when suddenly a million eyes are on them? No. They are so confident because they have shown up for themselves every single day leading up to the match so they have all the confidence in the world because the preparation has been done. 

Step 1: Keep Your Promises.

Stay committed to your promises long after the emotions in which you originally set them in subside (because trust me, they will). Truly a person cannot be free if they have no control over themselves. How do you build the discipline necessary to keep your promises? Start small and take these five steps.

1. Find an overarching purpose. Ex: I want to be the best partner for my significant other. 

2. Break it down into micro goals until you get a small enough task that you are actually willing to do. Ex: you understand that your disorderliness makes you undependable and flaky which are qualities undesirable to your partner. You know that your room is very unorganized and you only make it spontaneously after months of uncleanliness. You realize cleaning your room consistently is too big of a commitment so you settle on making your bed. 

3.  Create a timetable. Ex: I will make my bed for 7 days straight.

4. Execute the goal at hand and make revisions if you recognize the task is too difficult by making even more micro goals. 

5. If successful, continue by adding incremental goals for yourself in the same way you did in steps 1-4.

If you can do those five things successfully, then you will build momentum which will enable you to tackle even bigger challenges down the road. But don’t get ahead of yourself. Start small.

Step 2: Take Massive Action to Surround Yourself With Good People.

You truly do become a byproduct of those you surround yourself with. I caution you as negativity is so powerful and spreads like a wild-fire, so be careful of who you allow in your precious mental space. I think we all know this though, and the question then becomes, “how do I surround myself with a good community as I feel stuck in my current situation?”.

I’ll break this down into four steps.

1. Identify the negativity in your friend group. 

2. Remove yourself from the negativity.

3. Be a lone wolf for a while. Being alone does not have to be lonely though! Take the extra time you’ll have to develop skills and do the things that YOU are passionate about.

4. You’ll naturally become the magnet in which like-minded individuals come to gather and grow. This becomes the real community you’ve been looking for.

The reason why I firmly believe these steps must be taken in order is because in the case where you stumble upon high-value individuals before having done the work on yourself in the “lone wolf” step, you most likely won’t be able to keep them around. High-value individuals can see through masks if you give them enough time so they’ll see through yours, and if you are not providing any value to the group, it’s not their responsibility to keep you around and build you up from scratch. You must go through the self-improvement process first!!

Step 3: Change the content that you consume.

Everyone thinks a healthy diet is only the foods that you consume for your stomach but that could not be further from the truth. A healthy diet also consists of the thoughts that you feed your mind and your soul. Media is a big part of our lives but it does not necessarily have to be a bad one if you can recognize its impact on your mental space. If you are following creators who make you feel lethargic, insecure, or glorifies the product versus the process, UNFOLLOW THEM RIGHT NOW. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

That is truly one of the biggest acts of self sabotage. Rather follow creators who inspire you in your own endeavors. If you want to start social media, follow creators who teach you how to do so. If you want to change your lifestyle, follow creators who teach you personal development. You get it, right? 

Step 4: Take care of your physical appearance.

I’m talking about hygiene, the gym, food choices, clothing… All of it! Whether we like it or not, looks matter and it’s because it’s viewed as both an outward and inward declaration of how much respect you have for yourself. If you show up to your interview with baggy clothes, messy hair, and having not brushed your teeth, the interviewer will recognize that as a potential sign that you don’t care about yourself, and if that’s the case, how can they have any assurance you’ll care about the company? 

This applies not only to work, but also in social gatherings in general so take care of your physical appearance as this will also tell yourself that YOU ARE IN AN INVESTMENT WORTH MAKING. For my guys out there, get yourself a skin care routine too by the way! The earlier the better.

Step 5: Learn to communicate.

There is nothing more attractive than an articulate poised individual. Study books, speakers, spoken word poetry, videos on how to communicate your thoughts. You can be the smartest individual ever, but you may never reach your full potential if you can’t communicate your talents.

Step 6: Know that God provides.

At the end of the day, you can have assurance knowing that God provides for His people according to His masterful plan. What does this mean for us? It means you can have contentment in all situations, so you just worry about putting your best foot forward in a way that can be glorifying to Him and don’t stress about the things you cannot control. He’s got you covered. I promise.

- Jun Yuh